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| 7 months...uhhh nooo |
| 11.26.04 (4:53 am) [edit] |
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Am sure i added some blogs...no way i've been away for seven months...ammmm sorrryyyy...and i miss u alllll :) This year started really crazy for me...many bad things happened in the first few months , many strong positions i took...this year i will remember for ever cuz ..I faught a battle for people who were unfairly punished by what i thought my friends!:shock:...We didn't win ...i won their trust and love and lost for ever the companionship of the other side...the one i used to call my friends...i was their favorite when i didn't speak out...but when i opened my mouth and spoke the truth ,they faught me like their worst enemy. Life changes people...it changed me alot ...as it changed many. Now, 3 months since i started My new job ...a new challenge ...to do what i love to do and still keep my values and principles...am not afraid to change...if it's for the better me.
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| breakfast at la Notre |
| 04.29.04 (6:32 am) [edit] |
last few weeks were the most stressful ones i had and still more to come but inshallah will end the way we all hope to be.
finally i managed to convince my dear friend "manoori" to wake up early so we can enjoy a la notre breakfast together . We came after 10 am and it was so busy we had to wait...i approached the handsome guy to ask for a table and the usual rush girl spoke politely but quickly asking for a table....he didn't answer me..:( my friend pushed me to the side and talked to him softly with a big seductive smile and said excuse meee...we neeeed a table...with a bigger smile he answered her...just wait 5 minutes ... :P :roll: !!! thats not fair . We saw a girl that manoori know from work enjoying breakfast with her husband in a very romantic way then when they left he held her close and opened the door for her to step inside the car !! WHY ?!!! manooori said...why we can't have someone like that in our life...some who realllly cares. i tried convincing her that we only saw the part they like us to see...life is not that beautiful always with them..she gave me the "SHUT UP " look .8)
Anyway , breakfast was great..long time i haven't had such fun...inshallah we can repeat it soon...and next time i will try manoori smile :wink: :lol:
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| Living Lies |
| 04.22.04 (10:18 pm) [edit] |
According to the dictionary ----
a lie is * a false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood. OR * Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.
Why [u]try[/u] to give a wrong impression? or deceive others ? What possible things we'll gain when we lie ? What could we lose if we didn't lie?
To be honest with myself first i must say i did lie a lot when i was a teenager ...for many reasons..i could remember one or two important ones...being afraid of my parents punishment and trying to make a good impression on others even if it is based on lies..lots of lies.
Now i don't . I either tell it or not, but never lie. Liars only feel safe the moment they lie ,but after that it is all worry and more lies to cover the rest of lies...a web that will grow till they can not know true from lie anymore.
I see many liars these days...and i see..don't hear because i could read those faces when they lie...it is obvious when you watch carefuly how they behave and when you listen to them with all the made up details to prove a solid base story. 8)
Truth is strong... Slience is stronger..stronger than lies.
telling the truth will build trust ...telling lies destroy it...Liars will never feel good about themselves untill they start loving what they have not what they should have.
have a wonderful weekend all :)
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| selfish souls |
| 04.14.04 (10:30 pm) [edit] |
life is FULL of selfish souls..each one of us can be selfish sometimes...i guess that would be normal...
it is okay to care for your self and plan your future and do all you have to do to reach your goals in life..BUT why hurt others in the way...why ?!
life is not worth it . i will not live for ever, no one will. And life is not just me and you, it is for every one
Why cheat and lie and hurt others and their families with them ONLY to please their selfish souls. :?:
why whenever you try to fix something and give others their rights...what they really worked hard for...they tell you NO ...this is wrong...you can't fix the world...it is like that and will stay like that. :roll:
good ,honest people are so hard to find . As if they melted or tranformed to another form of people...i don't blame them..each got his own reasons to change...or to disapear !
But i find it hard...changing my self....principles..standards i believe ...standards set by ALLAH through our prophet Mohammed and in our holy book "Quran" .
praying , Hajj and fasting ramadhan are things that muslims do, but believers are different kind of muslims-they are the ones who know life is not for ever and this world is not for us alone...and the only one to worship and obey in this world is ALLAH "GOD" not our selfish souls.
this weekend i will pray more...i will not give up..if they can hurt me like that then am getting weak...i must become stronger and believe that ALLAH will help me help myself and others.
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| butterfly effect |
| 04.11.04 (9:48 am) [edit] |
remember the guy in the movie whose trying [b][b]each time [/b][/b]to go back in time and change events but things don't turn around the way he wanted ...:( i feel like that....i want to go back in time if i could and change this and that .wish i could , but i know i can't !
face it...deal with it....problems...mistakes...whatever causing you pain in your life or work ..you must not let it eat you and be there for others to hurt you with.
i used to be a very stubborn and inflexible character ...now i can't afford to be like that...life changed me...circle of life is much bigger than the one i started with ...and am sure it will get bigger.
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| see this movie |
| 04.07.04 (4:22 am) [edit] |
hey everyone ...care to see one grrrt artist...enjoy :)
http://vares.ircnet.ee/_klipid/sand_sicaf2003 .wmv" title="http://vares.ircnet.ee/_klipid/sand_sicaf2003 .wmv" target="_blank"http://vares.ircnet.ee/_klipi...
it is so amazing what you could do with your hands !
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| Now i know |
| 04.03.04 (5:39 am) [edit] |
first i was awaken by a midnight call, then i found my kid alone in her balcony trying to get back to sleep after a bad dream.
I wish i could stop all bad dreams from coming to her...i wish :(
I can't think of love bigger than loving your own kids...... i could never sleep feeling angry or mad even when she upset me....she didnt mean it...she didn't...i always tell myself...i could die now..so why die angry at her...i was fooled all my teenage life to think that true love is something that happens between men and women....thats not true...no true at all.
Ask all parents...and especially mothers...they will tell you whats true love...there is a saying for Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh)that he once was asked by a guy whose to give most of my care..and 3 times he got the same answer..your mother..then 4th time he said your father.
Now i know...mothers never get mad at children ....they just look mad...but deep inside..nothing...same love..such a solid shield against all human emotions...except love....it's impossible even if she tries..she can't...i tried many times to be like that....Makoo faydah :)(means "no use" in arabic )
Mum always told me that when i become a mother i will understand many things...just wait till you become a mother...Now i know.
Thank you GOD...thank you Allah..for so many blessings.
bless all mothers and protect their children :)
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| Touching the sky |
| 03.30.04 (9:15 am) [edit] |
Can i do that ? i think i did !! many times i feel i did, but this week i dont :( . I tried to help myself and others and i succeded with their help and support but i dont feel like touching the skies - may be just top of the hill. View is good and very relaxing but my soul hungers for more. I guess working with others means we have to stick to their speed limits or we'll be left behind and ppl living up there only listen to groups not individuals 8) .
i leave you with a Model of our new water front in kuwait close to where i live "fahaheel" :) as i told a friend once i guess we'll be 2 old ladies ,sipping coffee and checking all young guys when this huge project is complete . :) :)http://www.adepacemodels.com/...
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| How to shoot all and kill one ?! |
| 03.28.04 (6:44 am) [edit] |
Things are becoming more clear with each passing work day . Today i learned a few more hidden facts about why this whole secret war started . To kill a bird you have to shoot them all!! reason is not to raise questions about targetting that special bird ....so shoot them all and aim for one in between . Such a coward act...and an expected one...No surprises...No more.
Funny how people think they can win this way... they might....but what about the rest of the birds...they will never trust that tree...never.
to all you birds out there....have a great weekend all.
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| Ibn El Qayem |
| 03.25.04 (10:28 pm) [edit] |
According to the islamic scholar [b]Ibn El Qayem [/b]there are 4 types of sins :
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1. royal sins (like arrogance)
2. ruminant sins (like stashing money,or being afraid)
3. beast sins ( like anger, violence, killing)
4. devil sins (like envy, cheat, unjust)[/b]
Now, after the list you read above you can add whatever you think belong to each category. People around us including me have committed sins from each category . In another part of his book ( da'a & dawa) he explains that people who their sins are mostly from the same category act and later in life look like one of those animals. In life we have many times joked and said wow that man looks like a fox or like dog or even rat like. I did make the experiment on my own friends and its true. I will be honest and say that my sins are between royal (arrogance) and beast ( anger) :( . Am trying aways to change and praying to GOD for help . Without such great help i can never make it.
everyone have a great weekend :):)
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| walking with hyenas |
| 03.23.04 (6:09 am) [edit] |
walking..working..thats how i feel
GOD help me. Am a very busy person at work and there isnt much time to gossip around[b][i] if [/i] [/b] and [b][i]if [/i][/b] i wanted ! with all that i hear them talking lies about me. :shock: enough i say ! talked to our biggest gossiper and face 2 face i asked him to tell the truth and spread the truth. My GOD. they never leave you alone even when you leave them alone. A dirty human habit. Like hyenas - females are no different than males. with all this and my beloved pc crashes on me. No escape. I came next morning smiling and laughing like nothing happened , they also came like nothing wrong. Tomorrow is another day like scarlet said.Tomorrow is another day for me . I hope help desk bring back my pc tomorrow.
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| Life |
| 03.18.04 (9:12 pm) [edit] |
I need this...I really do.
Today is friday. Started raining after midnight and now outside my bedroom window ,i can still watch it rain. yesterday was another day. I visited a friend at the hospital. she's kept their because her placenta started bleeding and that means early delivery(operation). she's only 27 weeks pregnant(6 months). I saw and felt fear in her eyes and words. So scared to lose the baby. more pain than mothers have but without the baby :( .i dont blame her. If she lose this one. It would the 4th time . Her pregnancy journey is a very sad story.Pain is every where in hospitals , and thats why i dont like visiting patients. But we have to do it because in islam its an importnat way to help others and ourselves. We pray for them and try to ease their pain and make them feel better . At least till the visiting period ends .
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| dead thoughts :) |
| 03.15.04 (11:49 pm) [edit] |
funny how i got used so quickly on writing my thoughts here in tblog.com .
[b][u]helloooo to all my secret friends [/u][/b]
Confusion is the state am in theses days. Things (including ppl)are getting tense at work and i feel like doubling my energy didnt help much . Its hard to work under the psychological pressures surrounding our work area these days. Everyone is wondering about whose going up ,whose going out , or whose going down. I try to smile alot and joke about it to help the ones i care about feel better no matter what. I believe that life is hard but fair. If we couldnt have its our way then we'll get it another way.Just keep working smart and hard.
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| Results are coming |
| 03.12.04 (9:21 am) [edit] |
Next 5 days are important...2 major events are going to happen within the next days...the chairman award results and our department upgrading nominees.
Am not that worried about the 2, am only worried after that. Things will be tougher on me. i feel that. I know that. People who count my mistakes are waiting for the results more than me :) . hmmmm...we'll see.
saad and thia ...SOLVE the PUZZLE :)
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| Puzzle me |
| 03.11.04 (10:17 am) [edit] |
"ELECTRICAL RESISTANCE CAN VARY WITH TEMPERATURE ‘
Use all the 42 letters in the above sentence to find ------
1. A continent.
2. Two elements.
3. A geometrical solid.
4. Vary speed.
5. _ _ _ candle
Enjoy the ride
:wink:
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| Amino Acids/HPLC |
| 03.10.04 (9:44 pm) [edit] |
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Its going very slow and with many obstacles appearing each time we make a progress. I need to work harder and read more about HPLC( amino Acids Analysis) . My memory is failing me and i dont blame my brain cells cuz they r working so hard on many issues at the same time. I thought of asking help from a doctor working on the same system at kuwait university but i must first know what questions to ask. I hate to look stupid when am not. Our lab is for clinical tests not research. Engineers are working hard with me and we are getting along better than before . I was rude with them when we started because they were always late on schedule.I must read and search more. Be ready for next week trials.
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| verrry foolish |
| 03.09.04 (6:52 am) [edit] |
i agree with all my friends and only my friends that am foolish when it comes to dealing with people i dont like.
i can not hide my feelings because i do not even try. I feel like if i make the slightest effort as if am moving every muscle in my body..it really takes all my energy. They call it public relations or being friendly!! i dont mind being friendly..i only mind being fake...unreal...unME ...so why bring that feeling out.
they call it a weakness..i call it defense..foolish acts...u ask for trouble grrrll...but i can call it what i want cuz am the one feeling it and every disliked person doing it :)
hmmm very foolish indeed.
:wink:
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| Voooooom |
| 03.07.04 (9:09 am) [edit] |
black hearts..white hearts...gray hearts..no hearts at all..!!! :evil: envy realllly kills every beauty in a soul or the surrounding souls...hate energy reach our happy energy and voooooooom...gone..no more happy souls...only sad are left.
but i understand why. likes like likes. hate wants hate around it. stop analyzing ppl and just accept them and draw the lines with all hearts. Smart people know how to deal with each heart ...each soul the right way..the right strenghth...the right time.
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| Why??...just tell me why!!!! |
| 02.29.04 (7:58 am) [edit] |
Why do losers hate and go against achievers??
why not hate themselves and fight against their own attitude and change it .
Why blame others for your mistakes ...
why waste time and energy on the wrong target .
just tell me why...or tell yourself why.
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| Yessssssssssss |
| 02.23.04 (9:31 pm) [edit] |
yesssss to all my prayers...thank GOD for giving me what i want ....I got my "outstanding" at last...11 years i've been waiting for it..and when i changed paths they were forced to give it to me.
Anyone outhere who knows they deserve what its been taken from them should seek it with all methods(legal ofcourse :)) .... dont just keep quite and say they'll give to me next time ..ask and be prepared for anything..anything.
:P
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| CHANGE !! |
| 02.18.04 (9:32 am) [edit] |
A friend asked me to change today ...change my style ...my work...she was reading her NLP booklet :)
Told me to to not expect much from others at work if am still the same..change path...change style...change attitude....then..and only then..i can expect a different reaction.
:? :roll:
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| sick..meeting..war |
| 02.17.04 (3:16 am) [edit] |
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I have flue today...but not birds flu :) ...left work early...missed an important meeting...results will show tomorrow...if negative...then ...prepare for a new war 8) ...back to my sack
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| My 1st thoughts |
| 02.16.04 (10:33 am) [edit] |
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hmmm.. :roll: not actually my first..but you could say first to be published :)...no more i can write now..give me a night or 2 to see how i can put them intoo writings..ciao :lol:
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